Every single one of us has our habitudes and rituals...sometimes interchangeable in context. But for me, as a practice, rituals are exceedingly more mystical & resonates within my soul. There are also those habits that become addictions; that’s way too heavy to delve into here, but my family has had our plights with addiction and completely know the severity of the influence they can plague a life/family with. Then, there are routines we do completely innately, without thinking; habit that hardly packs a punch in the literal monotony of our lives. Ceremony touches our heart, they become part of us. I will say though, that regular actions can become ritual when we set an intention to them and carry them out routinely.
There is one very essential involuntary little quirk that we all collectively participate in, waking in the morning. If we open our eyes, we should be very poignantly aware that we’re granted another day on the earth and if we don’t, then, well, you know ...😵. This, of all the things in your day-to-day, should touch you most pragmatically, where you actually feel gratitude; whether paying tribute to a higher being, the universe, or even just thanking your body for allowing you to participate in the human race for another day. And bam, just the thought of “thanks for another day” right as your brain has that first inkling and you have a ritual because that, my friend, is an intention. 🤯 So, anyways, as I sat here pondering the enormity of this most taken-for-granted act, I thought we don’t really have a choice in the matter... as long as our life meshes and melds with our soul or gives us all the good feels, then consider that we’re doing the best we can with the day we’re given. And, if it doesn’t, that’s ok. We’ve all had the thoughts that make us feel like we don’t belong here for some reason or another and there are places to get help.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255 suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Crisis Text Line -- Text Hello to 741741
Upon pondering the intense feelings of why we keep observances, I also came to realize that they are a commonality amongst our inner circles. The people we congregate and commiserate with tend to assimilate the same mind-set and uphold similar customs. So much like the religious types that cling to the beliefs, practices, and worship inside their sacred structures; they feel safe, heard, understood, and included. Yoga and meditation is also a perfect example of ritual because there is literal intention applied during their execution. How are these any different than how you interact with your most confident and trusted comrades within a safe space in the thralls of debauchery? Around the fire pit, rounds of drinks at the bar, stogies at the humidor. Or even in the mundane...cooking, cleaning or even brushing your teeth; some people enjoy them so much when they do them, it doesn’t seem like a chore or habit, it’s a necessity they have attached a ritual to because it’s important and has purpose to them (actually everyone better have hygiene rituals, ya nasty). These all make us the people we are notable for. My close-knit circle know with 100% certainty that I will always, at any given time, have something delicious on my stove or in my fridge to offer them, coffee a-brew no matter the time of day or night, beer/booze “all day 'er day yei-yei” (Ice Cube quote in my best Ice Cube voice), avocados in abundance, inebriating herbs, and dark chocolate. All. Ways. ALWAYS! If not “intention”, I find myself attaching a sort of denotation, if you will; cooking a meal specifically for someone or an occasion that will uphold a meaning for the person it was prepared for (denoting something memorable or heartfelt) you get the gist. Moving on...for the rando‘s, acquaintances, people on the street, they may take note of the physical or aesthetic morsels we find important. I get many comments and questions about my skin & accessories, so here are a couple facts:
Know that my face skin glows and doesn’t look 40 years old because I feel I have an amazing skin care regimen (no baboon blood, urine, or gold involved...perhaps good genes), a damn good moisturizer, SPF & I make it a point to drink plenty of water (water is literally life).
My earrings are usually on-fucking-point, because I have a collection that I absolutely love and my custom is to sit in front of the mirror for about 5 minutes making sure I chose the right pair before I leave the house.
These are things that I endear, give me all the feels, so I created a habitual ritual for them. I have done both of these for years. It wasn’t until I became comfortable of the skin I was in to realized how much I genuinely love taking care if it. And earrings, they have always been my favorite accessory but I only ever had a couple pair. So when I finally accumulated an array, they started to become part of my disposition. People now, always seem to notice my earrings...probably because they’re attached to the sides of my radiantly moisturized countenance 😂
These feelings of tribute & nobility carry over into our not-so-wholesome behaviors as well. Not gonna lie, when I smoke the devils lettuce there sure is a feeling of euphoria, as there is for most whom partake, but there’s also a sense of spirituality for me that is unmatched anywhere or within anything else I do. I don‘t medicate as often as I used to, but when I do, it’s then that I feel most tethered to a higher authority, feel my connection to the earth, and vibrationally I am both exhilarated and tranquil all at once. Seriously, the only other experience I have ever had that surpasses this surreal amount of joy, gratitude, and elation is the result of childbirth...then later as the endorphins wear off and you realize in your stupor of sleep depravation they are the stick in your crawl! Aaaand begin coffee mainline.
This, my friends, is how parents everywhere become so dependent on their morning brew! In our house we have come to treasure our morning sludge-fest. My husband garners the best of it most of the time; quiet house while everyone else is still asleep. Sometimes (rarely) I join him, because I’d much rather remain comfortable and delight in a snug warm bed and sleep at 5am, but that’s just me...I’ll get my cuppajoe at 8am when the sun is already in the sky, thank you very much. But when we do find ourselves encountering each other for that sunrise nectar, the moments are tender, the conversation light and tranquil, and pretty playful. It’s within those instances that we reflect on why we are, why we were, and how we’ll continue. Sometimes we are able to share these moments when we are sipping tea or a night cap in the evening after the little is put to bed. We try to meet each other here at least a couple times a month, but we often find ourselves pondering solo. And that’s fine; we have been together for a very long time, have done this on so many occasions, and have upheld our connection so well that even in our solitude we know what the other is “most likely” thinking or doing.
So, whatever your eccentricity, ritual is profound and can bring so much more than just a routine that you love to do; it can incite clarity, promote passion, cultivate deeper connections, whether on a solo journey or with those that understand you, but especially when they are carried out habitually.
Hasta la próxima
SALUD 🥃